Ill fall in love with raindrops. Fall in love with the breeze
Fall in love with catchy phrases and the smell of earl grey tea
Take forty steps to the store upstairs or splash pink and blue on my black hair
Scream in the midnight wind of my troubles or gaze at the lighted sky wishing i could prosper in double

Wish that hurt flies away or the tears reverse back to where theyre from
Pray for solace and comfort, free comforting hugs and genuine pardon
Sleep for hours to avoid facing reality
Hold back my curses for the sake of retaining sanity 
Initiate smiles just to end up dissapointed and talking to myself in the storm of being lonely and hurt.


                                    

I dont fit in, my mindset differs
If i were shallow in everything only then i am preferred 
Deemed as stupid and unfit for this norm
My heart is seared everytime i hold back a tear in my dorm 

                          



They dont care and they never will 

They will save themselves from all hardship and ill 

When being selfish is really the only choice, suppress your creativity and shoo away your rainbow thoughts  



                              

S I L H O U E T T E S

Look closely. The silhouttes dont lie
I see a different beauty when its the sunset that i spy
You cant comprehend the bliss
Its far more than a lovers kiss
It gives a fresh breath on my lips
the beauty of sihouettes that is.

I yearn the spot for the magic to be seen
It's the rays of the setting sun through the tree brances and in between
I sit by myself on hilltops and by the trees
When my mind is clogged i want to set it at ease

Its not easy when i have so much to think for
This beauty that I see comes in a way that apalls me more
Silhouettes dont talk to me, they whisper much more
They constantly surprise me with their knowledge that makes my mind feel so poor
My words flow out because i translate their beauty
I speak to the silhouettes because they confide in me


They are too afraid, of the light that scratches their beauty
Because only when darkness is to approach, is when the silhouettes start to sing their song softly.

PART 1 

Her eyes were mellow.

Bright blue and shiny but she made them shallow

She trained her mind for matters to be shoved in the gallows

For there was no other way to hide her sorrow

There were many who wanted their part in her smile

They were willing to go that extra mile

She was beautiful, qwerky and benign

Her beauty was unspeakable, so divine.

Her eyes used to shimmer and send sparks to ones mind

She was amazingly graceful and her aura was just shine

She pleased all and made a secret sign

“ Be careful, I am as sharp as wine”

Through the seeps of whistles and winks

She stood out among the petite little female links

Amazing charisma and out of the world intelligence to drink

This glass of wine was as mysterious as a sphinx

My ice cold coffee, was once a real piping hot mug of happy.


Conversations struck up out of the norm always start so lively
Then they die down and leave us to worry
We scramble our thought thinking "What did i say wrong, i though everything was fine and dandy?"
Sadly girl, you were fucking stupid to fall for that act actually.

Boys will be boys, cant you see that?
Its high time you ignore the petty requests that gives you a happy comeback
Yes they seem sweet, yes of rainbows and miracles they will speak
But there will come a day when you dont serve to his purpose
And at that time he will bear the brand of a fuckboy in your mind
He would stop replying you, and you'll revisit the box like its a shrine.

Why do they pick you up? Why do they let you fall?
Babe, we could ALL use an answer to this wake up call
Youre growing up, there more to come dont crouch yet from tall
But dont forget the chills you got when he called you "Doll," :)

On the spot// for you dear fuckboy :*

I write to tell people that i can see them
I can see their fears and flaws
Their secret mindset outlawed
Their crazy psychotic thoughts that never reached their jaw
For the fear of being condemned and slapped with the claw

I see them.

I write to tell people that i cry their tears
That its okay to have fears
That i read the charcoal on their face that is in smears
That curing it doesnt need a fucking beer

I write this to say that its not your fault youre deranged
We are in fact strange
We give to people our hearts but they dont come back the same
And if they dont come back we roam the dark streets in our minds like we are insane.


We are insane.
We are twisted and vain.
We hide our shame.
We are so mindblowingly untamed.
We scream in our dreams
We hate the thorns through the seams
We scratch our faces for more pain
We pull our hair through deafening silence of aches and
want to throw ourselves in front of the train.

I write to you to say to you, and only to you,
That whenever you do all these things that out you to the ground weeping
I am here trying to do mirroring

Just so your voice wont be lost in meadows
If anything was to engulf them it wont be shadows.
I speak for you, i out you out there invisible.
So that they know your story and not you
They know someone else has chills down their spines and thoughts are just as horrible.

Pride, was hazed
The compliments made him daze
He was strong, far more than you thought
He had the mind and physique to be blindly fought

Every shadow falls down on a creek
Yet his foundation was solely his feet
He kept his heart strong he saw no thunder
He always thought lightning would fear and crouch under

As a boy he saw, he listened and learned

He never gave in to the bad side to burn

He was good, at heart, soul and doing

He treaded carefully to make sure he wont plunge into ruin

She smiled sweet and her skin was beige

For once in his life he didn’t feel like a sage

She made want to explore himself further

The flutter of hearts, oh theyre all of a dither

First loves are deep, first breaks cut the core deep

He was naïve to see that she was using him for short glee

Why was he sad, they were supposed to be in love?

Alas dear boy she never was.

Shes the matured, smarter breed of fear

And you were still the young boy cooping in insecure , mere

Your pillows got soaked your eyes started to burn

Oh why oh why does fate seem to turn

All but happiness was what I yearned

My heart sliced with a dagger, a slice that burnt

The sharp pain and empty feeling

I lost my first thing in life that was leading

Am I really no good at what im doing?

Hush darling boy, youre only fifteen.

He grew well, he built himself slowly

On the outside his muscles screamed masculinity

His gaze pierced into a girls eye like fire

He kept his morals, he would use testosterone only hereafter

He was an eye candy, that smile and gaze to die for

A body that the Adam himself would have an eye for

It was hard work, determination and discipline

He fell back many times but eventually risen

He thinks back sometimes on that caramel coloured love that he once was smitten by

He sits down by himself and still ponders why

All he wanted was a good life to pass him by

Now he understands, in being alive there are many times you die.

For Hema, 

23.04.15, 2345 hrs//

Dont give her the feeling that everything is lost

She is your mother.

There has been ache, there has been silence

The long look of shock seemed to stop nature

You hurt, you forget but she is still tattered

How long can she put up an act that it doesn’t matter?

She keeps it inside like it will wither

It might go away, just forget it ever happened

But she never wants to complain, feels like no use hereafter

Feels like all is building up, one crumb and another after

Crumbs build mountains, grains make deserts

That’s what her heart was, tears drained from them by disaster

Disaster? You ask, not comprehending the factor
that long look of shock I said? That’s the aftermath garter.

The garter stretched long, never snapped yet never altered

Sometimes she said “the pain might go away later”

Dear friend please tell me, what did she do for this white piece of paper

She raised you she fed you, she clothed you regardless of weather

She cooked and cleaned she drove she seamed

She took she gave she bore she paid

She cried she laughed she shut up she sparked

Screamed and praised, she condemned she played.

Take her hand and hold it dear,

She is your mother. Not something to be set aside like a puppet owned by it master.